


Lost in the memories

by Anonymous



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anger, F/M, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Memories, Mental Breakdown, Romance, The Flare, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 11:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20814773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: NB: will contain "jumping" backwards into the movies /books. This is based on a newtmas fanfiction of Draronoliver.Thomas, Minho, Gally and Frypan survived. It was suppose to be over. They got to The Safe Haven, and they settled down after all the traumatic things they experienced. One day, a Berg appeared with the biggest surprise. Chuck, Alby, Winston, - all those who they had lost, were back, alive, in front of them. A WCKD group, who were led by Ava Paige before her death, collected dead subjects from the groups for a test, and successfully managed to revive everyone. But Thomas couldn't rest yet, ‘cause someone is missing. This leads Thomas and Minho to WCKD, or more correctly what’s left of it.Love, hate, fear and anger. A boy, heartbroken and traumatized. A girl, desperate for love. The ones who were left behind and constantly worried, wondering why they weren’t enough. A girl fighting with her mind, crazy and longing for something she think she never had. And the one fighting between death and life. This is the end. The real one. And it's going to end well now, right?...





	Lost in the memories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [draronoliver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/draronoliver/gifts).

Present (2 months after WCKD's defeat / Newt's death) Thomas’s POV  
Thomas, Minho, Gally and Frypan survived. They got to the Safe Haven. Everything is supposed to be over, from now on, everything will be good. No more killing, no more subjects or trials. They were sitting around a campfire, together with a bunch of other people. All those who hadn't embarked out in The Scorch, and a big bunch of others they barely knew. They wanted to know everything, what have happened? Teresa? What was going to happen now? Thomas didn't bother to tell. Anything. He felt empty. Like a part of him disappeared when It happened. When everything changed. Minho sent him a sad and understanding look, but Thomas just shrugged.  
\- Oh come on, be quiet you slintheads, then we'll tell. Minhos voice was soar, but still strong and bursting.  
The groups at the other campfires were silent for a moment, and Thomas met Brenda’s eyes for a millisecond. The look said it all. But right now, he was tired of all the caring about him. Why wouldn't thry just stop? Give him up? Minho sighed when everyone finally were quiet.  
-Thanks. Well, where should we begin?  
Then they began talking. About Janson. The Scorch, The Flare, the Mountains, the Mountainpeople. Gally, Frypan and Brenda filled in when Minho forgot things. They talked about how they escaped when they found out that WCKD were lying to them. They told about The Right Army. They told them everything. Until a boy at the beginning of his teens from The Glade, asked the question Thomas had feared since the Day:  
-Where is Newt? Thomas’ heart ached.  
A claw that didn't let go of his fragile heart. It hadn't since the Day. And Thomas knew it wouldn't ever stop. 

Thomas envisioned His face, how his head turned slightly to the left when he smiled. How... no. He couldn't think of him now. Newt, who had always been at Thomas's side. Thomas had failed him. He was dead, gone. But, it was for the best, right? Thomas lifted his head and saw Minho, who looked at Gally for support. But Gally was in his own world, the bronze eyes lost and shiny, staring into the fire. Thomas didn't want to see. Didn't want to hear. Didn't, in fact, want to excist. He held his breath, closed his eyes. Then he waited.  
-Newt… Newt is dead. Minho's voice cracked, and he looked up at the starry sky.  
Thomas felt the sorrow his best friend carried. He had known Newt three years longer than Thomas, they were two of the first "original" Gladers. Although Minhos feelings usually were wrapped up in sarcasm, Thomas saw that his best friend were struggling. He felt an urge to reach out to him and give him a hug, to comfort him, but he didn’t get to it. He was a coward. He knew it. But nothinng would ever be the same again. He felt the sudden silence around the fire. It was too quiet. He couldn't bear it anymore. He stood up, empty as a shell. He walked across the yard, away to the meadow, and unpacked the sleeping bag and pillow. A little haze of mint struck him when he laid down on the pillow. A cry of pain went through his heart, the scent reminded him of Him. The grass tickled his arm, and suddenly he tore away a reid of grass. He didn’t know why he all of a sudden raged at the grass, and he felt stupid. The anger disappeared as fast as it came, and he was empty again. Now it was just the cold night that filled him. With grief.

The Schorch Trials (8 months before the WCKD defeat / Newts death)  
The sweat flowed. Down his eyebrow, along the jaw and down on the collar of his t-shirt. He changed his grip on the bag, his shoulders ached. He walked like he was in a trance, the heat made him drowsy, despite being in motion. They had walked all day, and the sun went down soon. He walked in the middle of the group. Behind him, Newt and Frypan walked in silence.  
-Minho! Can we stop? Thomas shouted.  
The whole group in front of him stopped. Minho looked over at him, the sweat glistened on his face.  
-Here? The look Minho gave him was judgmental, and it was easy to tell that he didn’t want to camp here.  
\- Uh, yeah? Or, I mean, of course, hey you, shucking slinthead, knock down your ass here before I do it for you! Minho cracked up in a smile.  
-You still sound really lame when you use the Gladerslang, you know that? Thomas barked out laughing.  
\- Very clear, actually. Minho rolled with his eyes and turned toward the others.  
-Slintheads, we camp in this ugly mound. The smart guys order, he said, with a nod to Thomas.  
Thomas rolled with his eyes against Frypan, and Frypan laughed his dark laughter. 

Some time went by, and they watched the sun go down in the middle of nowwhere. Thomas, who was still sitting in the sweaty t-shirt, froze. Minho came over to him.  
-You take a watch tonight, a'ight? Thomas looked up at Minho.  
-Yes of course. With whom?  
-Frypan or Newt. We can ask ...  
\- Me? Frypan was standing behind Minho. -I'd rather not, uh, don't feel quite good, he said, and glanced at Newt, who was sitting by the fire, talking to Aris.  
-It'll be Newt then, Minho said, and exchanged a look with Frypan.  
What was the matter with them? Fry and Minho had a secret, but what? 

Thomas walked over to Newt and sat down. - Hey, Tommy, the velvety voice said. -Hey, Newt. He pulled his knees close to himself, and stared into the big nothing in front of him. Newt looked up at the starry sky, his legs stretched out completely. They sat there in silence for an eternity, but Thomas didn't feel like talking. He was ok with just sitting there, feeling the presence of the blonde boy. It was Newt who first broke the silence. -Do you ever think of your former life, Tommy? What you did with your family? Thomas hesitated before he answered. What did Newt want to hear? Why did he ask? - Oh, I guess I just lived at WKCDs, with Teresa. But I don't remember. Newt flinched by the name. - Do you care about her? The brown eyes looked uncertain at him. Thomas shivered. When did it get so cold? - Nah, she's just a friend, if that is what you mean. -Yes I know that, Tommy. But I wonder, do you LOVE her? Would you want to have her here, rather than, I don't know, me? Newt was obviously not happy with his answer. The blonde boy fiddled with the string on his hoodie. -Well, no, I don't think I love her. She is nice to have, we could communicate into each other's minds, and it makes you feel close, whether you want to or not, but ... his voice died away. Thomas shivered again. Newt looked curious at him. -Cold? His eyes were warm and caring, he was worried. - Oh, no. Yet another shiver revealed him. Newt barked out laughing. -Here, Newt said, pulling the hoodie over his head. He leaned forward and put the sweater in his lap. When Newt was so close, Thomas could see a small layer of almost invisible freckles beneath the nutty brown eyes. When Thomas didn’t take the sweater on, Newt grabbed it and pulled it over Thomas' head. -Hello? What are you doing?Thomas laughed. Part of him wanted Newt to continue, his hands on his body made him feel relaxed and calm. - I am, he said, as he pulled one of Thomas’ arms through the sweater, -helping you to prevent getting a cold! Although he could not see the blonde boy, he knew he was extremely concentrated, he had extremely poor coordination, and he was the most clumsy Thomas knew. But he was still his best friend, and there was no place he would rather be right now.

The sweater was finally on. Newt straightened the hood, but let his hand rest on his shoulder. Straight across the collar bone. The touch sent hot shivers through Thomas, and he froze involuntarily. -Tommy? -Huh? -Is there anything? -No, uh, what was that supposed to be? -No, I don't know, you just ... Newt pulled his hand away. -Froze. - Oh, no no, there's nothing. He looked at Newt. His eyes shone with disappointment, or betrayal? Oh, he had managed to ruin everything. He always had to! He cursed at himself and groaned as he clapsed his hands in his own face. He laid down on his back and rubbed his eyes. His voice trembled when he asked: -Newt? -Yes? -I'm afraid. Terrified. He was quiet for a while. -We all are, I guess. Thomas still had his eyes closed, but he heard movements in the grass next to him. He realized that Newt was laying beside him now.

Thomas sighed. -No, I don’t think you understand, I- I can't take more people struggling for me. That people are dying because I'm overbearing and making stupid choices. I, Thomas was shaking ucontrollably, -Chuck. He died for me. He was so young, he ... Tears filled up his sight. The pain and memories chased him, everything was just a chaos of thoughts, a storm. Suddenly he felt something against his jaw. A hand.  
Light as a feather, it stroke back and forth. -Shh, Tommy. The storm calmed by the touch, and Thomas thought for himself, that from now on, he had to take care of this boy. Guard him with his own life. He knew that nothing could ever make him happy again, if this boy who were some few inches away from him now, died. - Don't think like that. We can't do anything about it. It wasn't your fault. -But I feel like it was! Frustration filled him, and the storm inside him rebuilt. - Can't you see? I'm the reason for all of this. He felt empty. The storm raged inside of him, he barely heard himself talking. The blood rushed in the ears. - All the people who have died. How could I be such an idiot and just let them die! Newt got up in a sitting position and grabbed Thomas by the collar. With unmatched powers, he pulled Thomas up on two legs at an inhuman speed. Thomas opened up his eyes, shocked, and felt Newt's face a few inches from his own. The eyes glowed with anger. -If you say that one more time, Tommy, then I swear to whatever it is up there in the sky of gods and godesses, that I shall chase you until you realize that you are worth something. For me. For us. We need you. Newt squeezed his shoulders. -I need you. I have known that since the first time I saw you. Even when you were the little greenie who didn’t remember his own name. You were the one who broke the rules before you had at all been told that there were rules that could be broken. 

Newts lips slid slightly upwards, and he had a shiny layer over his eyes. He moved his hand slowly up to Thomas' cheek, and let his fingers brush over his cheek bone. Thomas could barely move. The little gesture made his stomach jump. -You sacrificed everything to get Alby and Minho back, even though Minho had already given up. You care about everything and everyone and you never give up. So don't give up now, it's not worth it. And don't you ever change, you are the one I want.. My Tommy. Newt smiled. They stared into each other's eyes, the silence spoke a thousand Words that would never be said out loud. The feelings built up in Thomas, but there was no storm this time. His sight became foggy by tears. He threw himself towards Newt and sobbed loudly, he had never felt this before. -It’s okey, Tommy, cry it out. Newt stroke his back, light but firm. He was the only thing right now that stopped him from giving up everything. And he would forever be grateful for that. Thomas grabbed harder around Newt, wouldn't let go of him. -Thomas.

Present (2 months after Newt's death, WCKD's defeat) Thomas' POV  
-Thomas? Thomas wouldn't let go. My Tommy. His Newt. -Thomas! -Huh? Thomas woke up. He squinted at the sun and looked straight into Minho’s face. This was a worried Minho. -Thomas are you ok? Just now did he notice that he was holding around himself, and almost scratched his own backboard. He loosened his grip, embarassed of himself. He sat up and pulled his knees against his chest. - Do you want to ... Talk about it? Minho said hesitantly. Thomas sighed. -Rather not. He got up. He felt like he had to say something, since Minho had actually shown some feelings by asking. - I dreamed of ... Him. Minho patted Thomas on his shoulder. - I know, he said quietly. It looked like Minho wanted to say something more, but instead he turned around. Over his shoulder, he said: - Oh, the food is ready. Come and eat when you feel like it. Thomas nodded, but realized that Minho didn't see it. -Thanks. Minho froze, and turned around. Although "thanks" could mean anything, it seemed like Minho understood exactly what it meant. Thank you for being my friend, a brother. The corner of his mouth pulled slightly up before he continued to walk. He would have gone through fire for that boy, Minho was his best friend. And the only one.

They sat in a ring together. Thomas, Minho, Gally, Frypan, Brenda and Jorge. They ate breakfast, but all of them were noticeably happier than last night. Everyone except Thomas. Thomas was as empty as when he fell asleep, at least the little while he slept. He stared blankly into the air while he mechanically led the fork to his mouth. He didn't even know what he was eating. He knew everyone was trying their best to overdo his sadness, but he couldn't stand it. Tomorrow. Then he would be a new person.

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAA! My first fanfiction! I will start of by saying that I actually just lied, this isn't my first. Or, it is, but I uploaded the first Chapter to FanFiction.net first, but I decided to upload here instead. I just realized that I didn't introduce myself, but better late than never? So HI! I play piano, read and listen to music all day long, and my favorite band is Queen and Aquilo. My favorite books are Harry Potter(by J.K. Rowling), Maze Runner(by James Dashner) and The Blue Door(by Susan Henderson). This Chapter has been changed and rewritten so many times that I stopped counting, but I hope it's ok that it is short(I felt like it was natural to end it there). I will try to upload every Friday, but I know myself good enough -it will probably turn out to be more like every second Friday, or even once a month. Forgive me, haha. THANK YOU draronoliver for inspiring me to make this story, you are my favorite<3 Also, I hope all of you will stick with me to the end:) (Forgive me for the spelling mistakes, but I think I have managed to remove most of them)
> 
> Looooooots of love,  
Mercury'39


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